Patsy Haws never turns down an opportunity to go somewhere or do something. Go bowling? Let’s go! Watch a movie? Yes! Help wash the dishes? Okay!
For the first 59 years of her life, Patsy lived with her family – first in Wichita, then in Oxford. When she moved to a Creative Community Living group home in Winfield two years ago, it surprised some people how quickly and enthusiastically she adapted to her new life.
Patsy was born with severe mental retardation but no physical disabilities. For a while she attended a Wichita school sponsored by the Parents of Spastics group, and her mother, Emily Haws, was the school’s secretary.
“Patsy loved it and never wanted to miss a day,” said her sister, Judy Price, who still lives in Wichita.
Patsy’s dad died when she was a teenager, and her siblings eventually left home. Then it was Patsy and her mother who continued to live together for many years.
“She was company for my mom after we left home,” Judy said. “It helped Mom to have a reason to get up and go. Patsy was very helpful – at times, too helpful. Patsy loved the holidays and decorated as much of the house as Mom would let her. She cut out pictures, hung string and used clothespins to hang up the pictures.”
At one time, Patsy worked in a sheltered workshop. Later, she refused to go, so mostly stayed home with her mother. They went to church every Sunday until her mom was no longer able to attend. Judy thinks Patsy was sometimes bored and needed to be occupied.
“Mom was never sociable, but Patsy was always outgoing,” said her brother, Gary Haws. “They did go to a few things.”
“At the end, Mom had someone come in to clean and give them baths,” Judy said. “Patsy talked her leg off and always had to put her two bits in.”
As their mother’s health declined, Judy and Gary took steps to become Patsy’s co-guardians. They began discussing Patsy’s future but didn’t contact the CDDO in Sumner County to see about getting funding for services. Not much later, Emily Haws was taken by ambulance to a hospital where she later died.
“Gary (who lives in Winfield) got there in time to take over when the ambulance was called,” Judy said. “Gary told Patsy ‘Don’t worry. We’ll take care of you.’”
“Patsy had seen death before,” Gary said. “She knew something was going to happen to Mom and didn’t get real upset when we told her.”
Since it was considered a crisis situation, Patsy received Medicaid Home and Community Based Services funding to go along with the Social Security she already received – and avoided being stuck on the waiting list for funding for services like so many Kansans. The family decided Patsy should live close to Gary so she would have a relative nearby.
“CCL is the first place we checked,” Gary said. “My wife had worked with many CCL employees at the state hospital before it closed, so we knew some of the staff. We got an inside look at CCL. We were lucky because there was an opening a block from our house.”
Patsy’s relatives also liked the fact Patsy wouldn’t be going to a sheltered workshop every day, but instead would be involved in a variety of activities in her home and in the community.
During the transition, Patsy lived briefly with family members but visited her future home at CCL to eat and get acquainted with those who would be her housemates.
“When she visited CCL, she wanted to stay that night,” Gary said.
Once the paperwork was completed, arrangements were made and Patsy moved, Judy was amazed how quickly she adapted to her new lifestyle.
“Karen, Gary’s wife, went over and decorated her room with Disney princesses, and that helped,” she said. “And when Mom’s health went downhill, Patsy didn’t get to do a lot. Over there, there are things going on all the time. It opened up a whole new world for her. They’ve got a routine, which she likes. I’ve been well pleased.”
Gary, on the other hand, wasn’t surprised that Patsy adapted so quickly.
“Patsy always was happy-go-lucky,” he said. “She likes going out and doing things. She’s thrilled to death. She had never been to a movie and hadn’t watched much TV. She likes to go to church and sing. She likes to be in charge, and can be a little bossy.”
Taresa Spain, who was Patsy’s team leader until recently, remembers that Patsy adjusted to her new lifestyle very quickly. For instance, she at first put dirty clothes back in her dresser, but then learned to take them to the laundry room instead. Patsy had also gotten into the habit of emulating her mother in a number of ways – walking with a cane, for example. One day Taresa simply hung Patsy’s cane in her office, and Patsy never seemed to miss it.
“Patsy is always in a good mood,” Taresa said. “She’s always willing to participate. She loves to go shopping for groceries or other things. She loves to bowl. There isn’t an activity we’ve done that she didn’t like.”
Patsy sometimes acts like her housemates’ mom, Taresa said. “For example, she helps Jessie take her coat off and goes to get her walker when she gets home.
“There’s nothing you don’t enjoy about her,” she said. “She’s a great help. She helps with cleaning. She’s willing to go anywhere.”
Do Patsy’s siblings have any advice for other Kansans with a family member who has always lived at home but, due to changing circumstances, may need to be supported by a community provider?
“Get your legal matters in order,” Gary said. “My sister and I are co-guardians for Patsy and can speak for her. Research the homes (services) in your area. Keep as close as you can so you can visit and stay on top of things.
“I stop in to check on Patsy once in a while,” he said. “She’s always had good care. As long as she’s happy, I’m happy. If something major is wrong, I’ll step in.”